Two days ago while seeing a movie with friends, a romantic scene came up on the screen, and it went from just two people saying nice things to each other to two people doing adult things.
Somewhere along the line as they did what they did, the girl called the guy “DADDY”, and he appeared to be turned off. That brought up a topic of discussion among my friends and I, does every guy love being called “Daddy” during sex?
Pet names are a very common trend between lovers and people who just have sex with each other. It is a commonplace to hear names like baby, honey, darling, sugar, and even abbreviation of one’s partner’s real name and adding something that sounds sweet to that abbreviation.
However, some of these pet names are formed by some couples, and you might not hear them anywhere else, but when it comes to calling a male lover daddy, permit me to say it has become a universal pet name.
While my argument during the conversation was that the movie proved that not every man enjoyed being called daddy in bed, the guys begged to differ. So here are the few things I found as I did further research into the topic of name calling during sex, especially calling a man “Daddy.”
The whole calling a man you are having sex with daddy thing can be traced to the pornography industry, dating as far back as porn of the 70s. However, the message the industry tried to preach through those scenes where women called their sex partners daddy was that of dominance and superiority of the man.
Some people have, however, linked daddy issues to be the reason why women call their men daddy but are that really the case? Sigmund Freud would totally agree if he were here.
He originated the idea that female children are sexually attracted to their fathers and also came up with the theory of the penis envy which is just almost unrealistic in today’s world.
Modern psychology tries to downplay his ideas but critically looking at it when it comes to this topic; I found out that some of the ladies I asked what their opinions were on the reason why ladies call men daddy in bed, said something related to daddy issues. The percentage of ladies who said things related to daddy issues is however very minute, but the point is, they exist.
Most ladies call their men daddy as a way to show that they submit to their masculinity and are open to doing anything he would like to try in bed. Also, we can’t forget to mention the DDlg kink community. DDlg stands for Daddy Dom/ little girl.
The DDlg mindset is an interesting one that involves adult women pretending to be little girls age 3-6 who bring an expected innocence into a sexual relationship where the daddies have to care for them, provide them with toys to play with and punish them for bad behaviour.
The whole point is to have a pretend sexual father and child relationship. Men in DDlg relationships call themselves daddy, and it’s kind of annoying to me because I feel the concept sexualises children but that’s a personal opinion.
In the course of my search, I came across the opinion of Dr Margaret Squires on the topic during a conversation with her daughter, and here is what she has to say: “I think that when that language comes up, it’s just as likely to be in a healthy relationship. You’re getting back to very early warm attachments.”
She also appeared not to have a problem with the DDlg dynamic. “Sometimes people merely recognize a pattern in their relationship. That’s why we have relationships so that we can rely on each other. It’s not necessary for everyone to be equally strong in all things.”
There is a risk in letting these sort of patterns become rigid in the relationship: Dr Margaret calls it de-selfing. “[People in these relationships] erase any part of themselves that bothers the other person. They fail to recognise that they have rights.”
She pointed out that daddies could de-self, completely erasing the childlike part of themselves that needs to be nurtured, but “one tends to see the women de-selfing, because in this society that’s what women do. Women are trained from a very early age to put other people’s needs before their own, and to erase themselves from situations.”
“Your grandfather used to call his wife Slug,” she told her daughter. “It’s not particularly important to worry about what people call each other. It’s important to recognise our own individuality and find a partner who supports that.”
Just about the doctor’s opinion, now let’s talk about how we actually feel about it as young people. Is calling a man daddy in bed sexy or annoying? Lots of us ladies explore like guys don’t actually find it sexy when we call them daddy during sex but they make us do it sometimes just for the sake of their ego. Most things guys do during sex is just for them to be able to brag to their friends when they talk.
But for more mature guys, the case could be different. It might just be a thing they enjoy hearing, and it motivates them to do more in bed. A guy mentioned that being called daddy makes him feel like he is hitting the right spot and the girl is enjoying every bit of the sex, so he tells her to keep repeating it till she climax.
Also, for lovers of dirty talks, saying the word daddy is super sexy. “There is something about having a girl saying ‘touch me daddy’ it gives me a boner on the spot because I feel like I’m superior and I love being begged for sex,” says one of the guys.
Dirty talk has had its way of getting people to tolerate words that’ll annoy them in everyday life during sex because they read a different meaning to these words.
Oh! Even our singers these days find it sexy when they are called daddy. You hear it in the lyrics of many 21st century songs and they make sure to pair the lyrics with videos of half-naked girls who actually look like they would scream “Daddy” anytime they are asked to.
Furthermore, some people find it incestuous, and creepy for very valid reasons. If someone says they can’t handle being called daddy in bed because it makes them picture their father banging their sister, you won’t judge them.
That alone is an erection killer, and I wouldn’t even want to imagine being in bed with my dad. It’s like a girl asking to be called mom during sex, while some guys would be freaky enough to do that if the girl is hot, other will freak out, so the feeling is a 50/50 thing for both sexes.
Do you want to know my opinion? I’m really on both sides of the divide as I can relate to it being both sexy and creepy but if I were to choose, I’d call a man who is deserving daddy a million times over without even picturing the real daddy for a second.
This blog post is open for your opinions so, please do well to tell us what you think in the comment section.