Recreational sex is an amazing way to let off steam. However, a lot of people see it as a social problem, but that’s not what we are here to discuss.
At least half of all issues associated with recreational sex, also known as casual sex, can be linked back to its name.
People are of the opinion that “casual” or “recreational” means the sex doesn’t take any thoughts what so ever, and fits as perfectly as sweatpants.
But the fact of the matter is that you have to date or be together for years before sex becomes like that. ( We can assume that Monogamy has a few benefits, at the end of the day!)
In fact, this happens to be one of the many reasons why it is much better to refer to casual sex as recreational sex — or even rec sex for short. It’s easily a kinder and even gentler term that makes it sound as fun as it should be.
When you call it recreational, it makes people think of sex on a picnic blanket compared to the term casual, which allows us to think of people being mean and sloppy-drunk.
Below are ten easy steps to get recreational sex right:
1. Always Be Nice
Just because you know you’re never going to see your recreational sex partner again doesn’t mean that you should let your manners fly out the window.
2. Don’t Be on the Lookout For Inner Beauty
One of the most interesting parts of casual sex is that you can choose to forget all about long-term compatibility and soul-mates and just focus on a pure, physical, or chemical connection.
You can choose to sleep with someone simply because you like their smell or accent, for example. Or you may choose to sleep with someone who is a few years too young (make sure they are above 21) — or too old — for you.
You have a chance to enjoy a guilt-free rendezvous with anyone who has a surplus of sexiness and outer beauty but may be lacking in other departments.
3. Always Be Honest
Simply because you are completely doing away with guilt does not mean you should also do away with honesty.
Don’t ever tell a lie about your true intentions to get someone laid. Man up — or woman up — and spell it out that you’re looking for a roll in the hay and nothing more. And never do the foolery of giving a fake number or asking for a number you have no plans to call.
4. Be a Decent Host Or At Least a Polite Guest
We don’t want to know how casual the hookup is; it’s plain rude and unsafe to kick anyone to the curb as early as 5 a.m.
You have to let them sleepover and also make them a warm cup of coffee in the morning. That out of the way, be aware that if you choose to snuggle for longer than 15 minutes, it may send wrong or mixed messages.
However, don’t be confused if your fuck buddy or one-night stand chooses to spoon all night. There are some people who like to enjoy a little casual intimacy once in a while.
If you do not like to spoon strangers, then it is better to go back to your hookup’s place rather than have them at yours. That way, you can sneak out as early as 5 a.m. And never forget to leave a cheery note; your phone number is not required.
5. Be Safe
Always use protection correctly. The need for safe sex can never be overemphasized, and you must be aware that condoms cannot protect you from everything.
This means you should do well to ask questions too and get tested for any diseases that may be spread through sex. Oh, yeah, and don’t be so into BDSM that you let a complete stranger tie you up or use a gag on you during sex, either!
6. Don’t Be Yourself (Unless You Feel Like It)
You are allowed to do whatever you want since your one-night stand has no knowledge of what you’re normally like in bed, so do well to take advantage of this and do not be your usual self!
Many people do not understand that casual sex is the best excuse to reinvent yourself when it comes to sex. So you can choose to be extra dirty or choose to try something new.
In other words, you potentially make a mess of yourself, since your flavor of the moment doesn’t know what you’re often like in bed and will likely never see you again. Remember, not to be basic as too much missionary is definitely missing the point.
Women especially could relish this freedom.
7. Chill on the Romance
You may be a hopeless romantic, but you need to save that side of you for when you have an actual romantic relationship.
Note that the following activities are not considered appropriate foreplay during casual sex: setting up a candle-lit dinner table, drawing a romantic bubble bath in a candle-lit bathroom, going the extra mile to recite your poetry, or playing love songs on your guitar.
Remember that it is nothing but a casual encounter, and it is too flimsy and fleeting to bear the weight of such romantic activities.
These things are not bad, but you only have to save them for your monogamous partner, who will willingly listen to whatever romantic thing you have to say.
8. Keep Things Light
Don’t be a pain in the ass by talking about a prescription drug you are probably hooked on or the discussion you had with your therapist about casual sex.
No matter how tempted you get, fight the urge to talk about how your parents’ divorce did a number on your ability to sustain a relationship.
9. Be a true Grownup
When it comes to having casual sex, don’t sulk if you do not get everything you wished for, The only people with a right to make demands or complain about sex are those who are in a relationship or married.
Understand that casual sex should be fun, and you have no right to get jealous or even start stalking anyone. Most people get their feelings involved in things like this, and it not only becomes creepy but can be scary. If you want something emotional, then casual sex isn’t for you.
10. Have fun
You wanted to have fun, so you must do just that. Enjoying casual sex doesn’t mean that you do not take anything sex-related seriously—it just means that you love a romp in different contexts. If you’re not enjoying yourself or having a laugh, then you’re completely missing the point.