Knowledge is pleasure. And if you have a clitoris, the more information you can get about it and all its workings, the more options you’ll be able to try out on your way to achieving satisfaction. (Or, if you aim to satisfy someone who has a clitoris, you can work with your partner to explore the techniques that take them to Disney land).
We’ve consulted experts and studies to compile a guide for flying solo and receiving or giving some mind-blowing clitoral stimulation. After all, getting busy with your own body can help you discover and discard unwanted inhibitions.
Get your own O game on
First of all, abandon every feeling of guilt or taboo surrounding masturbation. You won’t go blind. You won’t turn to a pillar of salt. You won’t get addicted.
And most of all, it’s not cheating on a partner. It also goes beyond just feeling great as well. Pleasuring yourself has health benefits that exceed the body – it can help to clear up shame that affects confidence with oneself, relationship, or in partnered sex.
Diana Sadat, a clinical counsellor and sex therapist in Vancouver, British Columbia, says “it’s hard to know what to ask for from your partner if you don’t know what you like”. She further said that masturbation would give you the opportunity to discover what feels good.
You may find out that you enjoy stimulating in round patterns rather than up and down, or that stimulation using your inner labia over your clitoris is better than direct clitoral stimulation.
Start gentle and slow and then increase speed or pressure as your body asks for it. A little teasing yourself can also build up the pleasure and help reduce hand cramps. Start, stop for a while, and then dive back in. Repeat as desired.
Positions and techniques to stimulate your clitoris
Different techniques can produce different types of pleasure, and the method in which you choose to stimulate yourself is entirely up to you.
- “Tap dance” soft tapping motion on your clitoris and clitoral hood can help you climb to orgasm. Increase speed as you wish.
- “Yeah, there’s the rub” use your fingers, hand or a sex toy to slide back and forth or up and down across your clit and hood.
- “Get in the grind” No need to get rid of your clothes and no hands required (keeping those jeans on can be very helpful!) mount a pillow and grind your pelvis to tinkle town.
- “Orbit the planet” use your fingers to slowly circle your clitoris and clitoral hood, touching your labia in the process.
- “Peace pinch” fold your fingers to form a peace sign and softly pinch your hood, then, gently slide your fingers up and down or in a back and forth motion.
- “Fun Zones” due to the unique shape of the clitoris, you may get aroused and even climax by stimulating other erogenous points on their own or along with the clit. Try your vaginal opening, labia, perineum, inner thigh and anus. Lay flat on your belly and reach backward for better access to everything, the clitoris as well. This is also a fantastic position to get your groove on while touching the rest of your sexy self.
- “Penetration station” the internal framework of the clitoris surrounds the vaginal canal, so penetrating your vagina with a sex toy or your fingers can bring pleasure. Incorporate with any of the external stimulation methods mentioned above for a double delight.
- “Good vibes” you can use a vibrating sex toy to practice any of the techniques mentioned above or to enhance them. Vibrators can be particularly helpful for those who need to reduce movement on their wrists or hands. Start with the lowest setting then rev as desired.
Sadat has just one general tip: Give your body a chance to warm up. She explained that it takes a while for the clitoris to get aroused and for blood to start circulating.
So start by stroking your around your clit, touching your labia without aiming directly or the clit for some time until you feel ready to stimulate it.
How do I stimulate my clit from the inside?
Before we continue on this exciting topic, we need to squash the incorrect notion that the clitoris is just a small, pea-sized version of the penis. According to a report by the Atlantic, the clit is actually shaped like a wishbone.
But even that description doesn’t do justice to its appearance. The full structure of the clitoris looks like an upside-down flower with large petals stretching inside the body clutching the vaginal canal. It can even become erect when stimulated.
So, in that regard, don’t aim at what you see or can touch from the outside. If we touched penises according to that mentioned myth, we’d only be touching the tip and overlooking more significant pleasures.
Is the G-spot another C-spot?
Studies suggest that the elusive ‘G-spot‘ is likely the point where you clit meets the front wall of your vagina. This is where the clit’s bulbs form a heart-like structure that embraces the vaginal canal.
So if you have a vagina; the clitoris is probably the key to orgasm, but we can touch it indirectly from the inside, or directly from outside the vagina, or both.
If you’re wondering how to locate that spot from the without turn-by-turn guidelines from Siri, you’re not alone.
According to Our Bodies Ourselves, try reaching about one-third of the way from the vaginal opening and playing with a mix of stimulation and pressure on the upper (or front) wall to see what feels right. It may take some experimentation and practice to detect.
Don’t get disappointed if vaginal penetration doesn’t make you orgasm, even if you’ve located that extra sensitive internal trigger point. In a recent poll on female orgasm, only 18 percent of American women agreed that only penetration could get them to orgasm.
Other participants of the study (about 37 percent) said they either needed direct clitoris stimulation to achieve the big O or that it immensely increased their climaxing pleasure (around 36 percent).
Recap – Clitoral anatomy 101
Getting to know every part of your clitoris is kind of similar to putting together a unique outfit. The makeup below varies with every individual.
- Glans clitoris: this is the protruding visible nub we think of when picturing the clit. Even though it’s ‘the size of a pea,’ it contains thousands o nerve endings.
- Clitoral hood: everyone loves a hoodie, including your clitoris. The labia minora connect to form the clitoral hood when during arousal, the hood slightly part ways, exposing the glands in the process. If you have a hooded clit, don’t worry, it’s completely normal.
- Clitoral body: this is internal. It’s connected to the glans and hangs from the pubic bone through a ligament.
- Corpora cavernosa: the clitoris body is made up of two corpora carvenosa which becomes erects when aroused.
- Paired cura: the clitoral body extends to form two projections. These “legs” straddle the vaginal canal and the urethra, and when you’re turned on, they get engorged with blood.
- Vestibular bulbs: the vestibular bulb is shaped like an upside-down heart, with the vaginal canal and the urethra at the hearts cleavage. The bulbs stretch from the behind and through the labia, circles the vaginal canal and towards the anus. They also swell when hot or bothered.
For some individuals, playing with the clit hood brings on all the sensation, while for others; the vestibular bulbs are the go-to spot for pleasure.
You don’t have to touch every part, just the ones that work for you. And it may change as you explore or age, it may be completely different when you’re with a new partner.
Clitoral stimulation with a partner or for a partner
If you have a clitoris; there’s no shame in telling your partner about stimulation preferences. There’s also no need to be shy about making all the contact you want with your clitoris during a sex session.
If you’re dating a clitoris owner, don’t be scared to inquire about your partner’s desires as well. Build the questions around how serious you are in getting to know their pleasure points and spending the time to do so – without pressurising them to perform.
Experimenting (with consent), vocalising (no, you don’t need to be so loud unless you want to), and paying attention to preferences are all equally significant when it comes to partner play.
That ‘Aye’ spot last week? It may have relocated a few inches to a new place! You just can’t tell, that’s why we’re giving out all the options on receiving and giving clit stimulation.
How to focus on the clitoris during partner play?
A lot of sex penetrating positions (whether hand, penis or toy) gives room for your hand, your partner’s hand or sometimes both, to play with the clit and hood.
Grind your clitoris on a skillfully positioned pillow or bunched-up blankets as your partner penetrates your vagina from behind with a toy, fingers or penis.
The furniture could be used for support, especially when you want to touch yourself with your hand while your partner penetrates from behind.
Ride and glide
Your partner’s pelvis could be helpful for clit stimulation. It can help if your partner is in a slightly reclined or seated position when you mount them and glide up and down, rubbing your clit and hood on their belly or pubic bone.
For added fun, you or your partner can place a lubricated thumb or finger under the clit. Vaginal penetration with a toy or penis is optional but can enhance the pleasure.
Reverse the ride
The reverse cowgirl position entails you riding your partner, facing backwards. If you and your partner are cit owners, slide some pillows under your partner’s pelvis to perform the ride and slide in reverse and tilting their clit towards you in the process for swift hand or even oral access.
If your partner has a penis, go for vaginal penetration. Your partner can also stimulate your clit in the process, or you can do it the way you like best.
This is also the reverse cowgirl position but with a little twist. Instead of bestriding both your partner’s legs straddle just one.
Your partner should bend their knees so you can glide up and down the thigh. Vaginal penetration with a toy, hand or penis is also possible in this position.
Try oral stimulation, with the tongue softly tracing circles around the clit and hood with a mix of pressure.
A pleasurable work in progress
If a particular technique doesn’t transport you to tinkle town, alone or with a partner, don’t worry. Clitoral stimulation isn’t a one-size-fits-all adventure. Spice it up until you discover the pressure, position, and rhythm that gets your head space in cloud nine.
- Increase or reduce pressure.
- Change the direction of your rub.
- Mix or alter techniques.
- Rev or slow the rhythm.
- Change the number of fingers.
- Change or add toys
- Switch between vaginal penetration and external stimulation.
Be mindful that we’ve only relied on 3-D imagery of the full clitoral anatomy for about a decade before researchers finally came up with a sonography of it.
That implies that before 2008, not much was known or understood about the clits really cool internal features and how they interact with the rest of the genital region.
And we’ve still got a lot to learn about it. Scientific findings may not be up to date with the clits anatomy and functions, but that’s all the more reason for you to carry out your own independent (or partnered) exploration on what pleases you.