Are sexual fantasies good for your sex life, or a dangerous tiptoe towards intimacy problems? How you fantasize can make the difference between having a healthy relationship and creating some dangerously bad habits.
Fantasies can be great for your sex life, or they can turn into an utter disaster. So it’s important to use your imagination wisely. Avoid intimacy problems by choosing to fantasize about your spouse. Doing so will spice up your sex life and strengthen your romantic bond.
Here is why sexual fantasies are good for your relationship, but only if you’re fantasizing about your partner.
Sexual Fantasies Boost Arousal
There are many benefits to fantasizing specifically about your spouse. The first one is that your sexy thoughts will make you more turned on by your partner.
A study done by the University of Granada revealed, unsurprisingly, that fantasizing increases arousal, especially in males. One way to build intimacy in a relationship and improve your sex life is to think about your partner in all different types of sexual scenarios.
The more you make your partner the start of your fantasies, the more the thought of them alone will get you in the mood.
Heighten Your Chances of Reaching Orgasm
It’s said that the biggest erogenous zone is the brain. When you sexually fantasize about your partner it’s only natural that you soon become turned on not only by your thoughts, but by your spouse.
This can speed up the arousal time and create a ticking time bomb. Along with getting you in the mood, fantasizing about your partner can also be a great way to reach orgasm.
This long, mental foreplay can help you live out your wildest sexual kinks with your partner and entice your desires. Thinking about these things can help bring you to climax faster. A great tool for women. For men? Not so much.
Bond with Your Partner Sexually
When you indulge in a fantasy about your partner you may be more inclined to voice them. And if you voice them, your partner will probably be excited about making your fantasy become a reality.
Intimacy in a relationship is boosted when you experiment with your partner. This is great for creating a stronger bond, since new experiences boost norepinephrine and dopamine in your body.
These are the chemicals and transmitters responsible for giving you “crazy in love” feelings. Therefore, the more you share new experiences, the better your sex life and relationship will be.
Spices Up Your Sex Life
The longer you are in a romantic relationship with someone, the more you get into a sexual pattern. You find what works and you stick to it.
Having a partner who knows what you like is a great way to avoid intimacy problems and to have a satisfying sex life. But, that doesn’t mean you’ll always love the routine.
Fantasizing about your spouse is a great way to spice up your sex life. Delving deep into your sexiest fantasies about your partner can shake up any monotony you feel between the sheets. It may even inspire you to get more creative in the bedroom.
It Keeps you in the Moment
Many women who have trouble focusing on reaching orgasm or men who have trouble maintaining an erection can help stay focused on the task at hand by fantasizing. This sudden burst of mental stimulation can contribute to arousal and keep the mind sharp.
Why Fantasizing about Someone Else is Dangerous?
Is sexually fantasizing about someone else a harmless action? Does everybody really do it? Now that you know all of the fantastic benefits of fantasizing about your partner and what it does for the intimacy in a relationship, we’ll be looking at 3 key reasons why fantasizing about someone else may cause intimacy problems.
It Festers Bad Behavior
Obsessive fantasizing can change your behaviors in the bedroom. Fixating on sexual fantasies can cause the brain to become numb to it. Suddenly you will need increasingly graphic fantasies to achieve stimulation.
In a way, fantasizing about someone other than your partner acts as a “Gateway” drug. This is particularly true when discussing fantasies that border on the taboo topics. For example, rape or reluctant sexual fantasies are popular among both men and women, as is violent or aggressive sex.
A 2010 meta-analysis reviewed studies regarding pornography and aggressive behavior from the 1980s until 2006. The result found that viewers of violent pornography showed eroded empathy, were desensitised to sexual violence and showed a significant increase in both aggressive behavior and acceptance of rape myths.
While this study was done on pornography, obsessive violent sexual fantasies can also trigger such a thought-process.
While some couples find the act of fantasizing about someone other than their partner to be completely normal, others find it disrespectful. It can be a real shot to the ego for men to think their wives are fantasizing about someone more well-endowed than their husbands.
Some many even view fantasizing about someone else in the bedroom as a form of cheating. This can cause intimacy problems in the relationship.
Obsessive Sex Fantasies and Infidelity
It may seem innocent to fantasize about the girl at the office or that guy at the gym, or even about a friend, but the truth is what first seemed like a harmless indulgence may increase your risk of infidelity.
When you fantasize about someone other than your partner, you mentally tell yourself it’s alright to climax with someone else. When your fantasy is someone you know in real life, you may long to make your sexual thoughts a reality. The more you make someone else the object of your sexual desire, the more likely you are to be unfaithful to your partner.
Fantasizing about someone other than your partner can be considered disrespectful and may harbor bad habits. Instead of casting a sexual role for someone else, cast your partner in the lead of your fantasies.
Doing so will help you see your partner in a new light and boost relationship satisfaction.