There definitely was a time you felt it was difficult to prioritize your relationship. I mean at that point you had friends you had a job to keep track of, and you also had hobbies. But once you began to have kids, it dawned on you that the struggle you have to face with kids is nothing compared to what you had to deal with before the kids arrived. The presence of children in your life is basically the absence of any free time.
You begin to consider things like mum guilt, babysitting fees, screaming kids, and the date night with the man in your life would sound like so much trouble than it is worth.
When the children arrive, you realize that you and your partner would feel like roommates or just passing ships in the same house you both share. Well, you both make sure to show the baby you have had all the love in the world you may even begin to forget why you had the baby in the first place.
If the above story sounds like you and the person in your life and you have made up your mind to reclaim the love you have for your partner after having kids, then this is the right post for you to read.
Put in a little effort
Try to think back to when you and your partner first started dating did you use to wear makeup get dressed up in sexy outfits for even have your legs shaved just to go see them? at some point in your relationship when you begin to have children, getting all dressed up and looking sexy for your spouse may not seem like a practical thing to do. You probably just saved getting all dolled up for the special date night that happens once in a long while.
You don’t have to become beyonce or madonna just to keep the romance in your relationship alive. It is not even important that you get out of your sweatpants everyday, but if you realise that your love life is going down the drain, you just might consider looking good and as sexy as possible more often. You might have to consider things like laser hair removal just to make life easier put on some splash of makeup and get your hair done as often as you can just so that you can bring back memories of those interesting times you had with the person you love.
Redefine “date night.”
Maybe you can’t live with the thought of having someone else babysit your child or maybe you just are not ready to have someone babysit your child. That is totally understandable and it is OK. There are other ways to prioritise your relationship without even getting out of the house. Don’t be with the mindset that you must have an entirely child free evening just to make time with your spouse special you can consider creative ideas on how to make out time for each other.
Take for example you could just dim the dining room lights or maybe turn them off and make a candlelit dinner while your baby is taking a nap. You can also decide to play video games together or even read a few pages of a book every night before you go to bed the important thing here.
(Communication) always talk to each other
Communication is a very essential part of any relationship you must always set aside some time on a daily basis to discuss with your partner ask them how work was, have a talk about how the child is doing, and most vital of all make sure to listen carefully to each other. make sure to be sincere with each other about how you are feeling and also talk about your relationship as school parents and also as a couple.
Also, make sure to talk to each other about how you engage in the division of labour. Before the kids came into the picture, it may have been just OK to clean up the mess whenever you felt like. But, now that you have kids in the picture leaving all of the burden on just one person would seem totally unfair regardless of who gets to stay at home and who goes to work. Instead of letting division of labour become a problem, discuss it with your partner and see how you can fully share the shows so that the burden is not so much on the person who gets to stay at home.
Taking care of children is one of the most stressful things anybody can have to deal with, so easing the stress just a little bit won’t be too much to ask. Try to also bring up the topic at least once weekly so that it all still feels fair and fresh.
Create a habit of good deeds
There is no single way to tell your spouse how much you love them. There are several ways you can do this and a date night is just one out of a million options. You can consider doing something nice for them like getting them a t-shirt, getting them flowers, or doing something that happens to be on their list of chores. Whenever you do something nice for them, do it because you love them and not because it is a way to guilt trip them to do something nice for you in return.
It is also healthy to cultivate a habit of always thinking about your spouse and how you can do something nice for them. Doing one nice thing for your spouse everyday is a way to make you feel like you are putting in effort to make your relationship evergreen, and these good deeds could also prompt your spouse to begin to do nice things for you as well. When the both of you put each other first and become more empathetic towards yourselves, you will be less resentful and have fewer fights than other couples.
The mistake a lot of couples make after childbirth is thinking that spicing up their sex life immediately, or getting back into the dating scene almost immediately is the key to rekindling the romance. The key to making things work is actually finding grace with your spouse and also with yourself. Make sure to communicate with each other on a daily basis and see how you can figure out things that will make your relationship go smoothly as a new couple. Because with the presence of a baby, the both of you are no longer who you used to be.
If you have other tips, or you would like to share how you were able to spice up your relationship after childbirth, please send us a message via a comment session as it may be helpful to other readers.